Green Goblin Ranch Dressing

Green Goblin Ranch Dressing
This creamy, tangy dressing gets its green hue from ripe avocado and its zippy flavor from a splash of pickle juice. It’s perfect as a dip—or slathered on a sandwich.
Silly name, serious flavor. We always make extra!
Happy & Healthy Cooking,
Fun-Da-Mentals Kitchen Skills
- blend :
to stir together two or more ingredients until just combined; blending is a gentler process than mixing.
- measure :
to calculate the specific amount of an ingredient required using a measuring tool (like measuring cups or spoons).
Equipment Checklist
- Large bowl
- Immersion blender (or stand blender)
- Dry measuring cups
- Measuring spoons
- Cutting board
- Kid-safe knife
Ingredients
Green Goblin Ranch Dressing
- 1/2 C mayonnaise **(for EGG ALLERGY sub 1/2 C egg-free vegan mayonnaise)**
- 1 T pickle juice
- 1/2 tsp dried parsley
- 1/2 tsp garlic powder
- 1/2 tsp onion powder OR dried onion flakes
- 1 pinch salt
- 1 pinch ground black pepper
- 1 small avocado, as soft and ripe as possible
Food Allergen Substitutions
Green Goblin Ranch Dressing
- Egg: For 1/2 C mayonnaise, substitute 1/2 C egg-free vegan mayonnaise.
Instructions
Green Goblin Ranch Dressing
measure + combine
In a large bowl combine 1/2 cup mayonnaise, 1 tablespoon pickle juice, 1/2 teaspoon dried parsley, 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder, 1/2 teaspoon onion powder, 1 pinch of salt, and 1 pinch of black pepper. Then, slice 1 small avocado in half, remove the pit, and scoop the fruit into the bowl.
blend + serve
Using an immersion blender, blend until smooth. (Or, transfer the mixture to a stand blender to blend.) You can add a teeny, tiny splash of water to smooth out the consistency if needed. Serve a big dollop of the dressing with Freaky Fried Pickle Nickels! Enjoy!

Hi! I’m Avocado!
"Hola! (Hello!) My name is Avocado, and I'm so happy to be an ingredient in your dish! Avocados can be sliced or chopped and presented naturally, or you can mash us and add lime or lemon juice, salt, cilantro, garlic, onions, jalapeños, and other seasonings to make Guacamole! The citrus juice provides flavor and also keeps us from turning brown in the air. Did you know that avocados are sometimes called Alligator Pears due to our pear-like shape and green skin?"
History
- Avocados originated in Mexico and Central America, where Spanish is the national language. Their history dates back 7,000 years. Avocado in Spanish is “aguacate!”
- Avocados are now popular all over the globe and are used in all types of recipes! Most of our avocados are grown in Mexico and California. Avocado trees grow best in mild, warm climates with moderate humidity. They don't like cold weather.
- The most popular avocado is the "Hass." All Hass avocados are descendants of a "mother tree" that grew in the backyard of a man's house in California.
Anatomy & Etymology
- Avocados have a seed or pit! Botanically speaking, that makes them a fruit! So, technically, avocados are berries. Berry interesting, no?
- Avocados come in different shapes, from oval to pear, depending on the variety. The skin looks like fine leather, which helps them to withstand the fierce Mexican sun. It's not edible and is durable enough to protect the ripening avocado flesh inside.
- Some have smooth skin, while others have a rougher, more pebbled appearance. Most are glossy green, while a few varieties turn purplish-black when ripe. But regardless of the exterior, all have a large, inedible seed surrounded by the soft, buttery, creamy-white to greenish-yellow flesh on the inside, with a delicate nutty taste!
- The word "avocado" comes from the mid-17th century Spanish "aguacate," from the Nahuatl "ahuacatl," which has been combined with other words, such as "ahuacamolli," meaning avocado soup or sauce. That is how we get the word "guacamole."
How to Pick, Buy, & Eat
- Avocados grow on big evergreen trees with a beautiful crown of smooth, glossy, dark green leaves that shade the avocados from the sun. Avocados mature slowly and steadily on the tree but put off ripening until picked. One tree can produce 150 to 500 avocados per year.
- Avocado trees grow best in mild, warm climates with moderate humidity. They don’t like cold weather.
- How to properly peel an avocado: The method you use to peel an avocado can make a difference to your health. Research has shown that the greatest concentration of carotenoids in avocado occurs in the dark green flesh that lies just beneath the skin. Therefore, you don't want to slice into that dark green portion any more than necessary when peeling an avocado. For this reason, the best method is what the California Avocado Commission has called the "nick and peel" method. In this method, you peel the avocado with your hands in the same way you would peel a banana. The first step in the nick-and-peel method is to cut into the avocado lengthwise, producing two long avocado halves that are still connected in the middle by the seed. Next, you take hold of both halves and twist them in opposite directions until they naturally separate. At this point, remove the seed and cut each of the halves lengthwise to produce long quartered sections of the avocado. Finally, use your thumb and index finger to grip the edge of the skin on each quarter and peel it off, just as you would do with a banana skin. The result is a peeled avocado that contains most of that dark green outermost flesh that is so rich in carotenoid antioxidants!
- Avocado is delicious mashed and spread on toast, chopped and added to salsas, sliced and fanned across salads, and diced and added to soups. In addition, avocado can be breaded and fried and stuffed into tacos, mashed or whipped and added to desserts (like cakes and puddings (yum!), and, of course, used as a base for countless varieties of guacamole.
Nutrition
- Good fat! Avocado is one of only a few fruits to contain fat—the special kind that’s really good for you and keeps you healthy. It’s a source of essential fatty acids and is mostly the same kind of healthy fat found in olive oil. What body part needs this type of fat?! The brain!
- Vitamin E keeps our blood healthy!
- B Vitamins help our bodies make energy!
- Fiber helps to reduce blood cholesterol levels and fight heart disease!
- The most nutrition in an avocado is the part of the flesh that’s closest to the peel! This darker green flesh has particular nutrients called carotenoids. The Guinness Book of World Records calls the Avocado the most nutritious fruit known to man!
History of Buttermilk and Ranch Dressing!

- Recipes for buttermilk dressing go back to at least 1937 in Texas. Typical ingredients include buttermilk, mayonnaise, garlic, herbs, and lemon juice or vinegar. Homemade buttermilk dressing will last in your refrigerator for about one week.
- Buttermilk dressing inspired the creation of Ranch dressing in the 1950s. Ranch has most of the same ingredients as buttermilk dressing with more seasoning and may include sour cream for extra tanginess. While working in Fairbanks, Alaska, Steven Henson created the salad dressing for work crews. Later, he bought a guest ranch in Santa Barbara County in California and named it Hidden Valley Ranch. He served his salad dressing at the ranch, and guests bought jars of it to take home. In 1957, Steve began to sell packages of his dressing mix, named after his ranch, in stores.
Let's Learn About the United States!

- Most of the United States of America (USA) is in North America. It shares its northern border with Canada and its southern border with Mexico. It consists of 50 states, 1 federal district, 5 territories, 9 Minor Outlying Islands, and 326 Indian reservations.
- The country's total area is 3,796,742 square miles, globally the third largest after Russia and Canada. The US population is over 333 million, making it the third most populous country in the world, after China and India.
- The United States of America declared itself an independent nation from Great Britain on July 4, 1776, by issuing the Declaration of Independence.
- The Revolutionary War between the US and Great Britain was fought from 1775-1783. We only had 13 colonies at that time! On September 9, 1776, the Second Continental Congress met in Philadelphia and declared that the new nation would be called the United States.
- The 13 colonies became states after each ratified the constitution of the new United States, with Delaware being the first on December 7, 1787.
- The 13 stripes on the US flag represent those first 13 colonies, and the 50 stars represent our 50 states. The red color of the flag symbolizes hardiness and valor, white symbolizes innocence and purity, and blue symbolizes vigilance and justice.
- Before settling in Washington DC, a federal district, the nation's capital resided in New York City and then Philadelphia for a short time. New York City is the largest city in the US and is considered its financial center.
- The US does not have a recognized official language! However, English is effectively the national language.
- The American dollar is the national currency. The nickname for a dollar, "buck," comes from colonial times when people traded goods for buckskins!
- Because the United States is so large, there is a wide variety of climates and types of geography. The Mississippi/Missouri River, running primarily north to south, is the fourth-longest river system in the world. On the east side of the Mississippi are the Appalachian Mountains, the Adirondack Mountains, and the East Coast, next to the Atlantic Ocean.
- On the west side of the Mississippi are the flat Great Plains, the Rocky Mountains (or Rockies), and the West Coast, next to the Pacific Ocean, with several more mountain ranges in coastal states, such as the Sierras and the Cascades. Between the coasts and the north and south borders are several forests, lakes (including the Great Lakes), rivers, swamps, deserts, and volcanos.
- Several animals are unique to the US, such as the American bison (or American buffalo), the bald eagle, the California condor, the American black bear, the groundhog, the American alligator, and the pronghorn (or American antelope).
- The US has 63 national parks. The Great Smoky Mountains, Yellowstone, Yosemite, Zion, and the Grand Canyon, with the Colorado River flowing through it, are among the most well-known and visited.
- Cuisine in the US was influenced early on by the indigenous people of North America who lived there before Europeans arrived. They introduced beans, corn, potatoes, squash, berries, fish, turkey, venison, dried meats, and more to the new settlers. Other influences include the widely varied foods and dishes of enslaved people from Africa and immigrants from Asia, Europe, Central and South America, and the Pacific Islands.
What's It Like to Be a Kid in the United States?
- Education is compulsory in the US, and kids may go to a public or private school or be home-schooled. Most schools do not require students to wear uniforms, but some private schools do. The school year runs from mid-August or the beginning of September to the end of May or the middle of June.
- Kids generally start school at about five years old in kindergarten or earlier in preschool and continue through 12th grade in high school. After that, many go on to university, community college, or technical school.
- Spanish, French, and German are the most popular foreign languages kids learn in US schools.
- Kids may participate in many different school and after-school sports, including baseball, soccer, American football, basketball, volleyball, tennis, swimming, and track and field. In grade school, kids may join in playground games like hopscotch, four-square, kickball, tetherball, jump rope, or tag.
- There are several fun activities that American kids enjoy doing with their friends and families, such as picnicking, hiking, going to the beach or swimming, or going to children's and natural history museums, zoos and wild animal parks, amusement parks, water parks, state parks, or national parks. Popular amusement parks include Disneyland, Disney World, Legoland, Six Flags, and Universal Studios.
- On Independence Day or the 4th of July, kids enjoy a day off from school, picnicking, and watching fireworks with their families.
- Thanksgiving is celebrated on the last Thursday in November when students get 2 to 5 days off school. Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa are popular December holidays, and there are 2 or 3 weeks of winter vacation. Easter is celebrated in March, April, or May, and kids enjoy a week of spring recess around that time.
- Barbecued hot dogs or hamburgers, watermelon, apple pie, and ice cream are popular kid foods for 4th of July celebrations. Turkey, dressing, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie are traditional Thanksgiving foods. Birthday parties with cake and ice cream are very important celebrations for kids in the United States!